nobody calls me “a disappointment” but my mother!
some context for the incredibly hilarious email thread/situation that can be viewed via the links below must be given.
i met A through the acting school where i was a first time student. he is a more advanced student in the program, and happened to attended the beginning class’ scene night. he was quite taken by my performance- as were most. i consider it beginners luck.
my classmates went to celebrate the success of our performances with some drinks afterward. A followed, and we spoke at length about the school, the process of developing one’s craft, and made the standard small talk two people who don’t know each other tend to make while throwing back beers and bar nuts.
i told him to find me on Facebook if he wanted to keep in touch for opportunities to work together on a scene. he found me all right. and he alerted me to the fact he’d be in the next class i was taking, technique 1, even though he’d taken this class over a year ago when he first entered the school.
a nice enough guy, who in fact has an interesting enough life story and intelligence, i found no harm in at least chatting with him when he asked to ring me up. then he asked me to join him for several outings, including an afternoon picnic that we could craft with fresh produce gathered at the morning farmer’s market- oh yes, let’s meet right when it opens at 8am!
….i was worried from the start, needless to say, but not worried enough to fathom it would come to this.
due to health issues i could not make the picnic. shit, crafting a picnic at 8am- even with a socially awkward, unattractive, 30 year old- would have been more enjoyable than the pain that sent me to urgent care that saturday. A tried to arrange other times for us to meet, and i eventually agreed to visit him at his place for some soup and conversation.
it was pleasant enough to speak with someone as smart and interested in food culture as i am. i felt no desire for him, however. but the same could not be said for him where i was concerned. this was made evident by his strange attempt to kiss me when i left. it was a slow, sloppy, attempt that landed somewhere between the corner of my mouth and my jaw bone.
after that night, he called constantly, texted me constantly, and started following me and requesting my friendship through all social media channels. he continually invited me to outings and events- some which seemed they would fun, if it weren’t for the fact A was overtly trying to be alone with me. at this time i was, in fact, still a bit ill and dealing with a busy work schedule, so fulfilling his invitations and meeting his unreasonable expectations was truthfully out of the question- in almost all cases. i tried to reconcile his feeling “neglected” (as he pointed out to me after the “Bay to Breakers Incident”) by offering him an extra ticket to a concert i was attending with some friends. i also agreed to be his scene partner for the technique 1 class that was starting soon. a most generous gesture.
on the day of our first tech 1 class, i went to my laptop at work with the intent of writing A an email about meeting up prior to class, to discuss the scene he’d picked out for us. a scene about a man (who has about 10 lines) trying to seduce a woman, (who has about 150 lines) in his apartment.
yeah. i know
this is the email (below) that i was faced with in my inbox.
and the following thread is, possibly, one of the greatest in email history.
in my humble opinion.
